


Class of 198X: A Novelization

by ObsidianRye



Category: Class of 198x, Cow Chop
Genre: Abuse, Aliens, Blood, Bullying, Drug Use, Dungeons & Dragons, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smoking, Underage Drug Use, Violence, this is literally the show as a written story lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRye/pseuds/ObsidianRye
Summary: Four high school misfits are brought together by a horrifying alien menace invading their local mall. They’ll battle monsters, teen angst, and one another as they overcome insurmountable odds to rise from zeros to heroes to save their hometown.-------AKA a written version of Cow Chop's show, "Class of 198X."





	1. Food Court Freak Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to translate the show as faithfully as possible. All the dialogue is either a direct quote or slightly changed. Every episode will be a separate chapter. The first one is a lot shorter than the others.

The year is 198 _ X _ . It’s the weekend after Halloween. The lives of four teenagers are about to change forever. 

There’s Amanda Hess; the charmer. She’s rich, popular, pretty, orphaned, and has just the coolest boyfriend, Steve.

There’s Samuel “Cool” Beans; the con artist. He’s a fanny pack wearing, drug dealer addict who carries around a boombox everywhere.

There’s Hannah Lee; the smart one. She’s an overachieving, Korean-American honors student, and she’ll kick your ass if you piss her off (once she gains some muscle that is).

There’s Mike Jaundice; the bruiser. He’s an awkward loner with a dead dad and a mom who likes to fuck, and one day he’ll have his own moving company,  _ We Care About Your Packaged Goods _ .

They’re not friends.

* * *

 

All four of them were at the Barton Creek Mall in Springfield, USA. Black Friday advertisements were plastered everywhere.  _ The Biggest Shopping Day of the Year _ . In the middle of it all was a brand new, sparkling Honda Elite Scooter. It was on display for a raffle on Black Friday. Pretty girls in tight shirts were passing out tickets.

Amanda was waiting by the mall fountain, tossing in coins. She was waiting for her boyfriend, Steve, even though he had ditched her on Halloween. They were going to go out in matching teddy bear costumes, but he never showed up.

Mike was walking around the mall, after having slept at the park the night before. His mom had been sleeping with a neighbor, again. He wandered away from the P.C. Jenney’s toward the movie theater. A help wanted sign caught his eye and he went up to the ticket booth.

“Can I have a job?” He muttered, the girl working the corner only quirked an eyebrow. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’ll take one job please.”

Samuel was sitting behind the register of his dad’s sporting goods store, tilting back in the old stool. He was wearing sunglasses to hide the bruise around his eye that he had gotten the night before. He had come home after a successful night of scamming kids out of their chocolate bars when his dad called him. 

“Samuel, we need to talk about some stuff.”

He held back an eye roll, “I’m listening dad.”

“It’s time you learned some responsibility; time you helped out with the family businesses. I’d like you to help out down at the sporting goods store. Do you think you can do that Samuel?” His dad asked. 

Samuel stopped himself from groaning, “Dad, that place sucks. Everyone’s gonna think I’m a loser if I start working there.”

His dad’s eyes darkened, and he hit Samuel across the face. “I’ve had about enough of your sass!” 

Sam reeled from the hit and his boombox slipped out of his grip, “My boombox! Dad!”

His dad didn’t pause, “You’re gonna work at the sporting goods store, and that’s the end of it!”

“Alright dad,” Sam nodded, holding back tears as he walked away. 

Hannah was walking out of that same sporting goods store, a plastic bag swinging in her hand. That weekend she had had a Halloween movie marathon with her friends, but now she was buying two 5 lb. dumbbells. She was planning to get big so she could punch Andy Wormdexler in the face. Andy was the stupid bully who picked on kids to try and impress some stoner girls. For now she was just going to grab a bite at the food court. 

Amanda started making her way to the food court to wait for Steve there. Her face twisted into one of mild disgust when she spotted Mike heading in the same direction, but she paused at his shirt. He was wearing a movie theater employee pollo. He may be a major loser, but she could use him.

Amanda walked up to Mike with a smile, “Can I get some free tickets.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me,” Mike responded without a pause. Amanda’s smile dropped.

“Fine,” she turned away, smacking on her bubblegum. She made it the food court and slipped into a chair. A few minutes later, someone was falling into the chair across from her. It was “Cool” Beans from her class.

“Does my hair look good Amanda?” He greeted, running a hand over his blonde highlight. Not waiting for a response he continued, tugging on his sunglasses, “Do I still have a bruise?”

“I saw you working at your dad’s shop,” Amanda commented with raised eyebrows. Sam scowled.

“Shut the fuck up!” Sam moved to the adjacent table, throwing one last comment over his shoulder. “You’re a whore.”

Amanda only laughed. 

Mike ignored the noise as he ate his chicken tenders. He was at the back of the food court, by himself, facing a wall. He had a stressful shift of mumbling theater numbers to movie-goers, and pointing when they couldn’t understand him.

A group of four jocks showed up in their letterman jackets. They were all from the wrestling team; Barry, Larry, Jerry, and Jim. They surveyed the food court for a moment, and spotted Amanda. They walked over to her, idly greeting Sam when they passed.

“Hey baby,” Jim slouched into the chair next to Amanda, twirling a strand of her hair. Amanda tried to shrug him off, but Jim ignored it.

“When Steve gets here he’s not gonna be happy about this,” Amanda commented, swatting his hand away.

Jim laughed and kept playing with her hair, “I don’t see Steve here right now.”

Barry, Larry, and Jerry all followed Jim’s lead. Amanda crossed her arms, bunching her shoulders.

“When Steve comes and sees you doing this, he’ll beat the shit outta you,” she forced her voice to be nonchalant, “so go ahead.”

The jocks just laughed again, “Why don’t you come on out to the van, baby.”

Sam pretended not to notice, but Hannah, a few tables away, looked up. She saw the wrestlers bothering Amanda. The girl was obviously very uncomfortable, borderline scared, and Hannah scowled.

“Hey meatheads!” She snapped, trying to get their attention. One of them glanced at her, but they otherwise ignored her. She huffed, and shouted, “Hey MeatHEADS-UH” 

This time she got their attention, and the attention of the entire food court. She couldn’t tell which one of them said it, but a racial slur definitely slipped off someone’s tongue. She felt her blood heating up.

“Nobody here is interested,” Hannah deadpanned, “so why don’t you go run a train on each other like normal.”

(“Damn!” Sam said under his breath, impressed.)

The wrestlers went red, anger coating their faces. They made their way over to Hannah, who only stared at them, unimpressed.

“What are you calling us, bitch?” Jim snapped. 

“Well, I bet none of you have listened to  _ Ride the Lightning _ in its entirety,” Hannah nodded, “so yeah.”

“Metallica is for losers,” Larry retorted. “Def Leppard rules man!” Jerry agreed.

Jim shoved Hannah out of her seat onto the tiled floor. (“Oh shit dog! You got fucked up!” Sam called.) Mike looked over to see what all the noise was about. Instinctively, Hannah reached for her dumbbells, still in the plastic bag. She clutched the handles, but didn’t make a move. She was mad, and the opening riffs of “Fight Fire with Fire” started playing in her head.

All four of the jocks get closer, “Hey, why don’t you come out to the van with us?”

Jim grabbed her arm, lifting her off of the floor, “You’re not bad looking for an Asian chick.”

Hannah scowled and swung the plastic bag at Jim’s head. She imagined his head coming clean off, but the bag barely swung forward. Jim took a step back and glowered at her.

At the same time, Mike was getting fed up with the noise. He just wanted to eat his chicken tenders in peace. He got up and ran over, his backpack still open and clutching a box cutter in his jacket. Amanda ignored everything, despite the fact that Hannah had helped her, but Sam started to feel bad. He looked at Amanda.

“Amanda, they really messed you up back there, almost, and Mike just ran over with his backpack. His books fell, out, he’s probably not gonna be able to do homework-” Sam started rambling.

“He’s gonna need your help,” Amanda agreed, cutting him off. She didn’t look behind her as Sam walked over, his boombox on his shoulder.

“Guys, fellas!” Samuel interrupted the situation. “Fellas do we have to fight like this?”

Jerry peeled off from the group and looked at Sam, “Hey man, it’s cool.”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “Me and you are cool. I sold your brother weed. We’re all chillin’; don’t have to bully this girl.”

“Hey bitch!” Jim made to grab at Hannah, but she was able to jump out of the way. 

Mike reached the commotion, keeping his box cutter hidden, and Barry looked at him.

“You want some of this nerd?” The wrestler sneered, shoving Mike back a few feet. 

Hannah looked at JIm, her blood boiling, and kicked at his groin. She missed, her leg swinging past his leg. A few feet away Mike pulled out his box cutter.

“You guys better stop it or I’m gonna- I’m gonna stab you,” He tried to threaten, but his words came out in a muttered jumble. The jocks only looked at him.

Sam looked at the chaos around him and tried for another distraction. He clicked on his boombox, placing it on a nearby table.

“Hey guys, check out this new dance move I got!” He proceeded to perform some bastardized form of the robot. Only Jerry noticed, a deep sense of discomfort settling in his stomach as he watched.

Amanda sighed, and finally got out of her seat. She walked over, popping her gum. She lifted herself up on her toes and tried to talk over the noise, “Hey! Steve is on his way!”

No one noticed her, and she huffed, crossing her arms. She scowled at the scene before her.

Barry, looking at the box cutter in Mike’s hand, growled, “Oh you wanna fight?” 

The jock curled his hand into a fist and swung at Mike’s face. Mike stumbled back, his jaw aching. Meanwhile, Jerry’s discomfort from Sam’s dancing turned into anger, and he shoved him mid-dancing. Sam fell over, hitting his back against the tiles. He groaned, wincing in pain.

“Hey man,” Jerry snapped, glaring down at Sam. “Get outta here.”

Hannah, enraged, wanted to hurt Jim more than anything. She started scouring him for any weak spots he had. It didn’t take long for her to spot a lumpy growth on the back of his head. It looked almost like a skin tag, or a wart, but it was a part of his ear. Hannah knew that if she could just get it, maybe hit it with a few of her knuckles, that it would hurt him real bad. It even looked like it could pop, and she found herself hoping his brain would slid out of the back of his skull with it.

Mike recovered from the punch, and lunged at the nearest jock. He swung his box cutter in front of him, and caught one of them on the arm. He sliced clean through the jacket, and blood seeped into the fabric. The jock cursed, clutching his bleeding arm to his chest. Mike couldn’t help but grin slightly, and the others looked at him.  _ Holy Shit _ . 

Sam looked at Jerry, who started turning away, and scrambled to his feet. Without a thought, he swiped up his boombox and lobbed it over his shoulder at the guy. The boombox landed on Jerry’s head, and a resounding crack sounded. He stumbled around, dazed and clutching his pounding head.

Amanda scowled and looked at the nearest jock, who happened to be Barry. She kind of knew Barry, so she snapped, “If you don’t back off right now, I’ll go to school and tell your coach that you’re causing chaos.”

He barely has time to think about what she said when the mall security guard showed up, shouting, “Hey! Break it up kids.”

Mike’s eyes widened, knowing he just stabbed someone, and he sprinted away. He suddenly remembered his chicken tenders, and, in a split second decision, went back for them before taking off towards the bathroom. The jocks took off too, looking at each other with panicked eyes. 

Sam, Amanda, and Hannah all shared a look. The mall cop looked between them and the jocks. He turned to chase after the jocks, but paused to shout at the three.

“No fighting in the mall!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about it tbh. Let me know how you think it turned out or if you'd be interested in more. Thanks for reading!


	2. Stoner Munchies Mindf*ck

As the mall cop disappeared behind a corner, chasing after the jocks, Mike wandered back to the others. He was still clutching his chicken tenders. The four teens stood in a semicircle, looking between each other. They were all processing what had just happened.  

“I hate bullies,” Mike broke the silence, talking around the last bite of his food.

“I hate jocks,” Sam concurred. “I hate those guys.”

There was another moment of quiet. There was nothing any of them could really say. All four of them looked around the food court. The tables were empty and it was quiet.

“Amanda didn’t do shit,” Sam claimed, as if he had just thought of it. He pointed at Amanda, who crossed her arms.

“I tried at the very end to come and like-” Amanda started to defend, “but I fucked it up.”

“Did you do anything?” Sam asked. Amanda huffed, scowling.

“No, I failed,” She admitted, begrudgingly.

“Yeah, she told them her boyfriend was coming or whatever,” Hannah explained. “They didn’t care.”

“Oh, they just didn’t care?” Sam repeated.

“Yeah, where the fuck were you?” Amanda asked, annoyed. She didn’t appreciate that everyone was talking about how useless she had been.

“I was knocked out, ‘cause I had the whole thing when I was doing the dance,” Sam explained, rubbing his aching back. His boombox was back in his hand, but it looked busted. He poked at it, his face falling as he realized it was probably broken.

“I tried to intervene,” Amanda insisted.

“You’re a bitch!” Sam suddenly snapped, looking up from his boombox. “We wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for you!”

“Why do you gotta go so hard right away?” Amanda frowned. “I tried my best, okay?”

“Doing what? Sucking dick?” Sam sneered. Everyone looked at him.

“Calling-,” Amanda picked up her bright pink phone. “Calling my boyfriend!”

“Don’t blame the victim,” Hannah reasoned before Sam could continue. “It’s not her fault.”

Sam lost interest in the conversation. He was squinting at the phone in Amanda’s hands,“Why do you have a phone? It’s not attached to anything, Amanda.”

“Is it hooked up?” Mike squinted at the phone.

“It’s not hooked up to anything,” Sam shook his head, mystified.

Amanda fidgeted with the phone before lifting it to her ear. She spoke cautiously, “Steve pick up.”

“You didn’t call anybody,” Mike pointed out, laughing slightly.

“What is the deal with this phone Amanda?” Hannah asked, curious.

“I have to be on the ready in case Steve calls,” Amanda justified. Sam rolled his eyes.

“It’s not-” Hannah held back a laugh, “it’s not plugged in Amanda.”

“Amanda,” Sam interrupted, “everyone knows that Steve left you.”

Amanda gasped sharpy, holding her phone to her chest in surprise. Hannah looked between the two with wide eyes.

“I haven’t even seen Steve,” Mike pointed out, slightly confused. “Who’s Steve?”

“Why are you here right now?” Sam looked at Mike, as if noticing him for the first time. “I thought you were in the bathroom eating chicken strips.”

Before Mike could answer, the mall cop jogged up to them. His face was bright red. He was out of breath from running after the jocks. The kids noticed immediately that he was overweight and a little schlubby.

“What was that all about?” He snapped, but his words lost some of their edge through his heavy breathing. “Why are you causing trouble in the mall here?”

“It was all them!” Amanda answered immediately, pointing in the direction the jocks went. “The meatheads!”

“We can’t have you goddamn kids fighting in the mall,” the security guard scolded, finally regaining his breath.

“It was about justice,” Hannah hissed, picking up her 5 lb weights. She started to curl them upward.

“Officer, I can explain what happened,” Sam stepped in, his voice confident. “These guys, they’re a bunch of no-gooders. They do drugs. I would know, I’ve sold them tons of drugs before. They’re just not good guys.”

“Don’t incriminate yourself!” Mike whispered at the other boy. The mall cop looked at them with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I gave him drugs earlier; this guy’s cool though,” Sam motioned at Mike who shook his head frantically

“What are you serious? Fighting in the mall, selling drugs. You don’t-” the mall cop spluttered. “How can anybody do something so stupid? I’m going to call the cops, are you serious here?”

“I thought you were a cop,” Hannah narrowed her eyes at the mall cop while Sam just shrugged.

“Well, I’m a cop to you, alright!” The mall cop said sharply, pointing to Hannah.

“You don’t look like a cop,” Hannah mumbled, looking at the officer with raised eyebrows.

Mike laughed, “Yeah, why are you so fat dude?”

Everyone else started laughing, and Sam pointed to the mall cop, “You fat fuck!”

“Get the fuck outta here!” Mike waved him away, laughing harder.

“What, you couldn’t catch the four other guys so you came back for the leftovers?” Hannah taunted. The mall cop coughed, getting flustered.

“Look alright,” He talked over the laughter. “If I catch you kids fighting in here again, I’m going to call the sheriff. Alright, I don’t want to hear any more lip out of you.”

As the mall cop was scolding everyone, focusing mainly on Hannah, Sam noticed his wallet. The leather was just sticking out of his back pocket, and Sam felt his hand twitch. He wanted it more than anything. He leaned past Mike and got Amanda’s attention.

Sam started to whisper, explaining his plan, “Yo, this guy is fuckin’ mad right now. He’s mad cheesin’, I’m about to jack-”

“I want half,” Amanda interrupted, understanding immediately. “I want half of whatever you get.”

Sam glanced back at the mall cop, who was yelling at Hannah. The younger girl kept taunting him, and Sam grinned at the opportunity.

“You do a distraction on this fat fuck right here, and I’m gonna jack him real quick,” Sam planned with Amanda.

“I can get a little bit flirty,” she offered.

“Yeah, just lift up your skirt,” Sam agreed idly. He started to maneuver behind the mall cop, waiting for Amanda’s distraction.

“What’s your name?” The mall cop demanded from Hannah as the other two schemed.

“None of your business!” Hannah retorted. “What’s your name? Where’s your badge? Shouldn’t you have a badge? Did it fall off your shirt while you were running?”

“I got a badge!” The mall cop pointed to the sewed on patch on his shirt. Hannah snorted.

“Did your mom sew that for you?” She jeered, continuing before she could stop herself. “My mom fuckin’ let’s me wear whatever I want.”

“My mom doesn’t know I exist,” Mike interjected. The mall cop barely glanced at him.

“Look!” the officer snapped, exasperated. “It’s officer Nosrat to you!”

Hannah laughed. The mall cop huffed, “It’s Russian.”

“Alright, Stalingrad.”

Amanda held back an eye roll. She smiled up at the guard, batting her eyelashes, “Hi officer.”

Nosrat looked at her with raised eyebrows, slightly surprised. Sam reached for the wallet, and started pulling it out. Suddenly, the mall cop whipped around.

“Hey!” He snapped, glaring at Sam. “What are you doing?”

Sam panicked, holding up his hands, “I thought I dropped something in your back pocket. I must’ve mistaken it for my back pocket. So sorry officer, this is really awkward. I didn’t think I would fail.”

Sam started to mention how Mike stabbed someone, but the mall cop interrupted him, “Are you trying to grab my ass?”

“So what had happened was that I was-” Sam searched for something to say, but couldn’t find anything. He sighed, “yes.”

“Alright, while I don’t go for that stuff kid,” Nosrat looked at Sam with a look of distaste.

“Yeah me neither,” Sam chuckled nervously. “That shit’s gay.”

“Hey, did you hear about AIDS?” Mike asked when he heard the word gay. The mall cop rubbed a hand over his face.

“Mike keeps talking about AIDS over here,” Sam rolled his eyes. “I can’t even understand, half the time, what he’s sayin’.”

Nosrat ignored the two, shaking his head, “If I have to come back out here again. I’m gonna be pissed. I’m gonna call the sheriff. You guys are going to be in serious trouble with your parents alright.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed, but the officer was already walking away.

“I don’t have parents,” Mike called after him. Nosrat didn’t bother looking back.

“Mike, shut the fuck up!” Sam smacked Mike’s arm. The four teens stood around, talking idly and bickering for a minute. Then Sam’s dad strode into the food court.

“ Hey Samuel!” He walked up to his son, grabbing his arm a little too tight. “You can hang out with your friends later. Right now, I need you to help me out in the store.”

Sam shrugged out of his father’s grasp, “Okay dad.”

As his dad turned back towards the store, Sam looked at the others, “I gotta go guys. My fuckin’ pops wants me for some shit.” He extended a hand to Mike, “Chill seeing you again Mike.”

There was a moment where the two boys stumbled over an awkward fistbump/handshake before Sam jogged to catch up to his dad. Mike left a few seconds later, mumbling something about his shift. That left Hannah and Amanda.

Hannah shrugged and started walking towards the bookstore. Amanda looked around, unsure of where to go, and followed after the younger girl. Hannah looked at her with narrowed eyes.

“Why are you following me?” She asked, suspicious.

Amanda fidgeted with her sunglasses for a moment before clearing her throat, “Thank you for taking those bullies away from me.”

Hannah tilted her head slightly, looking at Amanda for a moment before shrugging, “It’s what I would’ve done for anybody. It’s justice.”

Amanda tugged on the hem of her shirt, chuckling forcefully, “And then just I went back and had my coffee.”

Hannah looked at her, her eyes narrowed in thought and a small smile on her lips. The younger girl pulled out one of her new weights, “I just bought these.”

Amanda watched Hannah lifting the weight and coughed, “Speaking of, I should really go and get some shopping done, so…”

“I don’t know why you’re telling me,” Hannah agreed immediately, her voice a little defensive. “I don’t know why you’re still talking to me.”

“Okay…” Amanda nodded slightly, veering away from Hannah towards Marcey’s 4th Avenue. A few hours later the mall started closing, and, somehow, all four of the teens were still inside. Amanda was still shopping at Marcey’s. Some of the employees had to toss her out of the dressing rooms. Hannah had just lost track time studying, but nonetheless, they both found themselves heading towards the exit at the same time.

Sam’s father had already left. It was late on a Saturday, and business had really slowed down. He had entrusted Sam with the store key, instructing him to close up. Mike was just getting done with the late shift. All he had to do was throw out the leftover popcorn from that day.

Mike took the theater’s back exit, dragging the massive bag of popcorn behind him, to the back halls of the mall. He started heading towards the dumpsters, but paused when he realized just how much popcorn was going to waste. Instead of throwing it out, he decided to sneak the bag out of the mall to take with him. Mike pulled out a handful of popcorn to try. It wasn’t terribly stale, and the taste was bearable. Reaching into his pocket, Mike fished out the joint that Sam had sold him earlier. As he was smoking and eating popcorn, he heard glass breaking. Not completely aware, he headed towards the noise. He walked through the winding back halls before coming to the hall with all the vending machines. He slipped back into the main part of the mall, and saw glass scattered all over the floor. The fronts of the vending machines were broken, and snacks and soda were strewn about the floor.

A Tab can had popped open was spraying out over the floor. Looking at it, Mike mumbled, “That’s a waste.”

Mike started gathering the bags of snacks and cans of soda, shoving them into the popcorn bag. He was so focused on collecting all the food he could, that the faint sound of footsteps coming from behind him escaped his attention.

Not too long after that, Amanda, Hannah, and Sam stumbled upon the scene. They all took a moment to stare at Mike, who had started crawling around and slurping the spilled soda off the floor. He was _really_ out of it.

“What are you doing?” Hannah asked in disbelief, gesturing to giant mess before her. Mike didn’t respond, and Sam stepped forward cautiously.

“Hey Mike?” He called, and the other boy looked up at him. “Are you okay buddy? You okay big guy?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Mike answered. His words were undermined by his sudden coughing.

Amanda’s nose wrinkled, “It smells like weed.”

“Mike, you’re high as fuck,” Sam realized. Mike went back to focusing on the soda.

“What?” Mike asked through slurps.

“Do you need any help?” Hannah asked, holding back some laughter.

“Did you get pepper sprayed?” Sam had to hold back laughter too as he looked at Mike’s face.

“No,” Mike shook his head, “just allergies this season.”

Hannah tried to stifle her laughter as she asked, “Allergies make you drink soda off the ground?”

Before she could listen to Mike’s response, Hannah caught movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked at the door that led to the back hallways just in time to see it closing. She tilted her head at the lizard-like tail that disappeared behind the door. Hannah ignored the others, and edged closer to the door.

“We should just leave the mess,” Amanda suggested. “They’ll clean it up.”

Hannah slowly opened the door, and she could just hear noises. They sounded like footsteps, matched with voices. Or at least something that sounded like it could be strange voices. Suddenly, a soda can rolled around the corner with a loud clang. The others finally noticed as Hannah turned to them.

“Does this mall have a rat problem?” She asked, mostly to herself, then directed her next question at Mike. “You work here? What is that?”

Mike didn’t respond, too busy crawling around amongst the glass and snacks. Hannah rolled her eyes, walked back over to the others, and snapped, “Mike! What is that!”

When Mike didn’t answer, Amanda butt in, “Mike is obviously the bigger problem here. We should attend to Mike.”

Hannah ignored the other girl, instead turning to Sam, “Your dad owns a store here. What is this?”

“I don’t even understand. I don’t speak your language. I don’t know what you’re saying,” Sam responded immediately. “What is she sayin’?”

“Are you bullying me right now?” Hannah asked, a bit incredulous.

“I’m bullying you a little bit,” Sam admitted, turning his palms upward. “It’s what I do.”

Hannah glared at him for a moment before suggesting, “Hey, you should go look at what that sound was. I hear footsteps.”

“I’m wearing sunglasses at night--” Sam began, frowning. Hannah cut him off with an annoyed laugh.

“Where is this piece of shit going with this?” She interrupted.

“Alright fine!” Sam raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll go check it out. Alright, relax.”

As he started to turn, Hannah smirked, “Yeah.”

“Okay, this is isn’t Hiroshima,” Sam grumbled as he walked away.

“But what about Mike?” Amanda asked, making Sam pause. “You’re just gonna leave Mike there?”                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Sam looked at Mike for a moment before shrugging at Amanda, “What about Mike? Mike’s chill.”

“I’m all sweaty and shit dude,” Mike stated, looking up at Sam.

“Mike’s on the ground!” Amanda exclaimed, pointing at the boy.

“He looks like a feral animal,” Hannah pointed out, chuckling slightly.

“I’ll go check it out,” Sam repeated, ignoring the Mike issue.

“Why don’t you go check it out,” Hannah waved him away and towards the door. Sam took a step and hesitated, turning back to the group.

“The thing is, I’m a little bit paranoid, that’s the thing,” Sam said, fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt. “It’s kinda scary.”

Hannah rolled her eyes, “I know you’re not a pussy--”

“I ain’t no pussy!” Sam exclaimed, defensive.

“I know you’re not,” Hannah reassured, though her voice was still condescending.

“I don’t even know your name!” Sam suddenly remarked. “What’s your name? Who are you?”

“You can just go,” Hannah ignored Sam’s comments, though she started to get frustrated. “Either you’re a pussy or you’re not a pussy.”

Sam looked at Amanda and gestured to Hannah, “Is she in our class?”

“No, she’s--,” Amanda answered. “She’s a sophomore.”

“Oh you’re a sophomore?” Sam redirected his attention to Hannah. “Who gives a fuck about sophomores.”

“Even sophomores know a pussy when they see one,” Hannah retorted, gesturing to all of Sam, who scowled.

“I don’t even know why you’re--” Sam mocked Hannah by making gibberish noises and miming them with his hands. “I don’t know what you’re saying to me.”

“Pussy!” Hannah enunciated. “I’m saying you’re a pussy.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Sam insisted. “I don’t speak no Chinese.” Sam emphasized his points by spouting “Chinese” nonsense.

“Here’s the universal language: Pussy! Same in every language!” Hannah snapped, pointing to the door again. “Go check!”

Amanda sighed deeply, holding her hand between the two, “Okay, you guys are arguing. Let me check it out.”

Hannah lightly grabbed Amanda’s arm, “You should let him go.”

“I’m gonna go check it out,” Sam repeated.

“I want to go check it out,” Amanda argued.

“I mean, he can go and get fucked up,” Hannah told Amanda.

“You should take care of Mike,” Amanda pointed to Sam. Mike looked up at the three when he heard his name. He started crawling closer.

“I need water!” He called, reaching forward.

“Shut the fuck up,” Sam snapped, not bothering to look down. “I’m already going to check it out.”

As Sam started walking again, Hannah turned to Amanda, “He’s the pussy. Let the pussy go.”

“I don’t want to take care of Mike,” Amanda looked down at Mike with an appalled look.

“I’m already there!” Sam yelled back at them, a hand on the door. Hannah smirked, self satisfied, and Amanda scowled, looking at Mike.

Sam pulled the door open. Immediately, he saw the can of Tab in the middle of the hallway. It had cracked open, and was fizzing out onto the floor.

“Guys, there’s a shitty soda over here!” He called back to the others. He was still standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, keep going,” Hannah yelled back, rolling her eyes. “Keep going.”

Sam stepped into the hall, looking down at the soda. “It’s all sticky over here too!” He added, grossed out. He jumped when the door slammed shut behind him, but kept going. He swore he could hear footsteps, but he didn’t see anything.

“What kind of a mall if this? This is scary as fuck,” Sam mumbled to himself. He reached the puddle of soda, and looked down at it.

“What the fuck is this?” There was a weird, inhuman footstep in the liquid. Sam felt his anxiety skyrocket, and he felt like someone was watching him. He turned and hurried back down the hall.

“Hey, guys,” He announced as he pushed through the door, “there’s some weird shit over there. I’ve seen like-- I don’t know what to call it, but it’s kinda weird.”

Before Hannah or Amanda could respond, Mike called out, “Sammy! Sammy can you pick me up?”

“Mike!” Sam snapped, glaring down at Mike, who was reaching for him. “Don’t call me Sammy!”

Mike kept crawling forward with an outstretched hand, “Sam, pick me up!”

“Don’t use my real name Mike!” Sam scolded, trying to shake off Mike’s hand as the other boy got close. “Mike, you know my drug name.”

“Samuel!” Mike tried again. “Pick me up!”

“No, don’t use my real name!” Sam scowled. “Use the name I gave you as your drug contact.”

“My feet hurt,” Mike whined, his voice needy. “I need water.”

“I’m your drug dealer,” Sam reiterated. “Remember, you refer to me as Red Leader.”

“Red Leader?” Mike repeated, calming for a moment.

“Yes,” Same nodded, his annoyance dissipating.

“As my drug dealer?” Mike questioned. Sam sighed.

“Yes,” he clarified. Hannah and Amanda were watching the two, sharing glances from the corner of their eyes.

Suddenly Amanda broke out into laughter, “You sold him one joint!”

The boys ignored the two girls as they laughed. Mike just looked up at Sam, “What was in this joint Red Leader? I’m feelin’ weird.”

“That- that might’ve been laced,” Sam admitted, laughing awkwardly. Mike swore under his breath.

“Laced with what?” He asked, suddenly very worried. Sam grimaced awkwardly.

“I don’t know,” Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t tell you.”

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?” Mike exclaimed in disbelief. “You sold it to me!”

Sam cleared his throat, trying to evade the question, “Okay guys, there’s some weird shit--”

Hannah didn’t listen and instead turned to Amanda, “Are these two retarded? Is that their thing?”

Sam spoke over them, stopping their conversation before it really began, “I don’t know what’s over there. Do I need to keep checking it out?”

Amanda shook her head and walked over to the door herself. Hannah followed her, and Sam trailed after the two. Mike watched after them, but didn’t move to follow.

“So you heard it too?” Hannah asked Sam when they gathered around the door. “You heard it too?”

“Yeah I heard it. I seen it too,” Sam agreed, vehemently. “I seen like a diet soda over there. I don’t drink soda.”

“This is gonna sound crazy, but I saw something too,” Hannah started, a slight caution to her voice. “Something weird. This trail of destruction--”

Mike looked at the destruction around him, “Are you sure it wasn’t just whatever I was doing?”

“I’m not talking about this fucking weirdness behind me,” Hannah said, waving at the mess surrounding Mike.

Sam looked at Mike, brows furrowed, “What are you doing over there?”

“I’m trying to get up! It’s like a process here!” Mike explained as he started trying to get up. At first he tried to kick off of the floor, like he saw in _Karate Kid_ , but he just kept slipping on the soda. He resigned himself to just standing like normal, and stumbled over to the others. The others had been watching him in amusement, fascination, and confusion.

“Guys, so something weird is going on here,” Hannah continued when Mike walked up. She looked Sam, “Your dad works here, like what is this?”

“I don’t know, could be those like, foreigners over here that they hire at night to clean out the shops,” Sam offered. Hannah blinked, almost astonished.

“It’s not foreigners,” She stated bluntly. Sam shrugged.

“See, the thing is, you’re being biased though,” Sam argued, “because you’re not from here, unlike some of us.”

Hannah, having been born in the same town as him, scowled and crossed her arms, “If there’s something wrong with this mall it’s probably because of your dad and your shitty family putting something weird in this mall, okay?”

“Woah!” Sam’s eyes widened, offended. “Okay, my shitty family? Do you even have a family?”

“You’re lucky I spent my money- my parents’ money at your dad’s business,” Hannah brushed over Sam’s remark.

The boy scowled, “Your dad’s a P.O.W.!”

“Your shit business in this shit mall! You can’t even move your business!” Hannah didn’t acknowledge Sam’s comment, her voice raising. “I put food on your family’s dinner table.”

Sam stumbled over his words, searching for something to jab at, “Vietnam! That’s happening!”

“I bet your dad’s been dumping toxic waste in this mall!” Hannah claimed. Sam scoffed.

“My dad-- You are the toxic waste that my dad’s been dumping!” Sam retorted. Hannah glowered at the kid, her anger rising exponentially.

“Uh oh,” Amanda could see the anger in Hannah’s eyes. Sam noticed too.

“Okay, okay. Calm it down Karate Kid,” Sam tried to diffuse the situation. “Let’s bring it back for a second.”

Hannah only felt her anger rising, especially at Sam’s “Karate Kid” comment. She wasn’t a fan of the insinuation. Her expression darkened.

“Oh shit,” Amanda bit back a grin. “Hannah, I think you should do something to shut him up.”

Mike, seeing where things were going, tried to jump in, “Cool it! Cool it!”

Hannah was too angry to listen. She shoved at Sam as hard as she could. However, Sam was practically twice her weight, and he barely felt it. He still took a few stepps back though.

“Jesus christ! Okay, fuck,” Sam held his hands up in surrender, blinking in surprise. “Alright, calm down for a second. Alright, let’s everybody relax. Okay, let’s go check it out, see what it is. Then we can all leave, ‘cause I don’t know. There might be weird stuff over here, might not be. Let’s check it out anyway.”

Hannah brushed herself off, “First smart thing that’s come out of this guy’s mouth,”

Amanda rolled her eyes, “I don’t think there’s anything over here. I think you guys are crazy, but I’ll go check it anyway.”

“I haven’t seen anything yet,” Mike grumbled, suddenly miserable. “I just want to get home and drink some water.”

“Mike calm down,” Sam dismissed him, barely absorbing what the other boy had said.

“Maybe there’s water inside,” Hannah suggested. “A water fountain.”

“If there’s water inside I’ll come,” Mike nodded, following them. “I need some water.”

“You gonna leave your bag out here?” Hannah asked, pointing to the bag of popcorn still in Mike’s hand. “Or bring it with you?”

Mike looked down at it and shrugged, “Yeah I’ll bring my bag.”

“You’re bringing the popcorn and snacks and everything?” Amanda cringed at the bag.

“Yeah,” Mike nodded, lifting the bag up, “like the soda and everything.”

“We’ll get you some water and see what it is,” Hannah repeated to Mike, trying to move them along. They four of them slipped through the door into the hallway. The soda was still fizzing out at the end of the hallway. They crept towards it, and Amanda picked it up. It was still cold, and left a stickiness on her fingers. It was dented, probably from being dropped, but there were also scratches on it. In the middle of the puddle of soda was the footprint.

“You seeing this shit?” Sam pointed down at the footprint. Everyone looked at it.

“I’m seeing this,” Amanda confirmed.

“What is this?” Sam asked.

“This is not natural,” Hannah stated, shaking her head.

Amanda shrugged, putting the soda down, “It’s probably just a guinea pig.”

“Okay Amanda,” Sam nodded, a mocking laugh on his voice. “I don’t think it’s a guinea pig.”

“Have you ever seen a guinea pig?” Hannah asked, incredulous. Amanda scoffed.

“I own a guinea pig at home,” She explained.

“Does it look like this?” Hannah questioned.

Amanda shrugged again, “Pretty close.”

“Their feets are the size of ants,” Mike contributed. He was borderline shocked, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just sayin’ it could be a guinea pig,” Amanda insisted. Mike coughed a laugh.

“I’m high but I realize it could not be a guinea pig,” He pointed out. Amanda huffed, and Sam raised a hand between the two.

“Okay fine,” He conceded, his voice placating, “it _could_ be a guinea pig. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Thank you,” Amanda said, holding her chin high.

“Let’s investigate the _guinea pig_ ,” Hannah suggested, amused. Their conversation was cut off by a loud clang from down the hall. They all looked towards the noise and exchanged looks.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Sam’s paranoia hit his limit.

“I also don’t want to be here anymore,” Amanda agreed, her nerves evident on her voice.

“Why is everyone around me such a pussy?” Hannah grumbled, frustrated.

“Listen little girl,” Amanda crossed her arms at Hannah, “some of us actually have things to live for here.”

“I’ll go,” Mike volunteered. “I just want to get home dude. Just let me outta here.”

Mike started down the hall, and Hannah followed after, “He’s right!” Hannah started pushing Mike down the hall faster, hiding behind him. “Come on Mike, you’re invincible.”

“That’s not the exit Mike!” Sam called after them.

Hannah talked over him, “You smoked so much weed you’re invincible, Mike!”

Hannah spotted a track of soda footprints, and steered Mike to follow them. As they turned the corner, she spotted a bag of chips on the ground. The hallway ended, but the air vent not far off the ground was ajar. There was another puddle of soda in front of it.

“Mike look!” Hannah pointed, excited. Mike looked around.

“I’m lookin’, but I don’t see anything dude,” He responded. Hannah pointed again, and the soda caught Mike’s eye. Without thinking he walked up to it, knelt down, and tasted it.

Hannah watched, “Is that soda?”

“Yeah,” Mike nodded, “it tastes a little bit fizzy.

“Oh, something went down that vent Mike,” Hannah walked over to the vent and peered inside. She didn’t see anything.

Mike looked inside, then looked at Hannah. She was pretty small, and an idea came over Mike, “I need you- wait what’s your name? Hannah?”

“Yeah, Hannah,” She confirmed. “It’s okay, we just met.”

“It happens,” Mike agreed before explaining his plan. “Hannah, I want you to go into that vent.”

Hannah nodded, determination in her eyes, “We need to know.”

“The soda tastes fine,” Mike reassured. “So you don’t have to worry about the soda on the floor.”

Hannah opened the vent all the way, crouching in front of it, and she looked at Mike, “I want you to hold my legs. If I say so, pull me out fast.”

“Okay, I’ll hold your legs,” Mike nodded, but his eyes wandered away. “Sounds like a plan.”

Hannah squinted, “Are you high? Are you still high?”

Mike looked back at her, “What?”

Hannah rolled her eyes, and grabbed Mike’s wrists. She wrapped his hands around her ankles, “Hold my legs!”

Hannah didn’t wait for Mike to say anything. She started to crawl into the vent. The two of them were so occupied by the vent, that neither heard the approaching footsteps. Officer Nosrat turned the corner to find Hannah halfway in the vent.

“What the shit!” He exclaimed, storming over to them. “What, are you trying to break into Dillyards?”

“Ah! Pull me out!” Hannah startled. “Pull me out!”

Sam could just make out the conversation from down the hall, “Oh shit!”

Amanda, who had been standing next to him, backed into the wall. She was shaking as she slid down the wall. Panic overcame her and she started to rock back and forth. _Dillyards_. Sam tilted his head, watching in confusion.

Back down the hall, Nosrat grabbed them off the floor, and started herding them away. “Don’t make me call the cops on you here. You know, you’ve caused enough trouble today.”

“I’m just cleaning up okay,” Mike tried to justify. “I just got off my shift from the theater.”

“Listen!” Hannah demanded the mall cop’s attention. “We saw something! We saw something go down that vent.” The mall cop gave her a dubious look. “Look! Look at the footprints. Look at this! You idiot.”

“What are you smoking drugs?” Nosrat asked, not believing her story. “There’s no one back here but me.”

“Nobody is smoking drugs,” Hannah answered, pointing down at the footprints they were passing. “Look at these footprints! Do these look like a person to you?”

Nosrat looked down, but only saw the mess, “What is this? You kids stealing candy?”

“It’s from work! My manager said I could,” Mike explained, avoiding eye contact with the officer. “Just fuck off.”

As they got closer, and as he heard the conversation, Sam called over, “Officer! I think this lady over here is having a seizure. We need medical help!”

Nosrat ignored him, and kept pushing Mike and Hannah down the hall and towards the exit, “Come on. Come with me. Get outta here you kids, goddamn it.”

As they passes the others, Nosrat started pushing them towards the exit too. Hannah scowled, shrugging off the mall cop, “What a fat fuck.”

“Don’t touch me!” Amanda exclaimed, jumping away from Nosrat.

“Yeah!” Hannah agreed. “What a fat idiot.”

Mike also shrugged him off, chiming in, “Get your fucking pig fingers off of me!”

Nosrat ignored them. They finally reached the exits, and he looked at all the teens. He pointed to Mike, “Okay, you work here, that’s alright, but the rest of you. Get the fuck outta here!”

“We’re customers!” Hannah crossed her arms. “We have a right to be here!”

“The mall is closed!” Nosrat was getting really annoyed.

“I’m a paying customer!” Hannah insisted. Nosrat didn’t say anything anymore. He just pushed them out of the door. It was dark outside. They were in the parking lot, and they all took a moment to look up at the fall sky. The stars had come out and were shining. Mike smiled up at them, peeling his  eyes open, and Amanda felt herself calming down.

Hannah looked at the group around her, “Guys, what did we see tonight? What was that? What was all of this?”

Mike shrugged and looked at her, “I didn’t really see anything. You guys saw everything, I’m just fucked up right now.”

Hannah shook her head, “I don’t think this was the drugs dude. I think something weird is going on.”

“Something weird?” Mike tilted his head. “Did you smoke too, or?”

“No,” Hannah shook her head. Amanda laughed at that, and Sam looked at her.

“Are you okay Amanda?” He asked, remembering her freak out. “You had like a panic attack.”

“You’re really sweaty right now,” Mike observed in agreement.

“Yeah Amanda,” Sam looked at her forehead. “You’re perfusing a lot.”

Amanda took a deep breath, “I’m getting a little bit better now.”

“You want to wipe your forehead a bit?” Mike was starting to get grossed out from the sweat.

“It’s a lot of sweat.” Sam nodded. Amanda wiped at her forehead, and went to fix her hair.

“You’re okay,” Hannah and Mike reassured at the same time. Hannah pat her arm lightly, “You’re alright.”

“It’s just that I haven’t- ever since my dad-” Amanda started to explain, but stopped herself. She tried to wave the conversation away.

“What?” Hannah asked as Mike started to laugh slightly.

“Ever since what?” He asked. “What happened?”

Amanda paused, and then changed the subject, “Something weird is going on.”

“She’s right, something weird is going on,” Hannah agreed.

Sam suddenly remembered, “Hey where’s Steve? Wasn’t he supposed to show up today?”

“He was supposed to pick me up when the mall closes,” Amanda’s voice turned a little nervous. “Any minute now he should be coming.”

Sam nodded, “Okay, I gotcha.”

“Do you need a ride?” Amanda offered. Sam shook his head.

He waved the offer away, “No, I’ll probably walk.”

“I need a ride to the park,” Mike tried to take the offer. “I need to sleep on a bench.”

“The park? Okay,” Amanda shrugged in agreement.

“I need to sleep on the bench, ride out this high, and eat some popcorn,” Mike explained. Amanda only nodded, although she gave him a weird look.

“I’m kind of tired from holding these weights,” Hannah mentioned, still clutching the handles of the plastic bag. “I could use a ride.”

“Actually you- no,” Amanda just laughed. “No.”

“Okay, just kidding,” Hannah nodded, looking away as Amanda laughed. “Fuck you.”

“You’ll allow the fucking freak who’s high into your car, but not the girl that saved you,” Mike laughed at the absurdity. Hannah chimed in her agreement.

“I’m just kidding okay!” Amanda defended. “Don’t take it so serious.”

“Like I’m all greasy and sticky, touching your car,” Mike looked down at his hands. Hannah looked at the giant bag of popcorn.

“I get it,” Hannah nodded to the bag. “The seat needs to go to his bag of fucking food he found on the ground.”

The three of them laughed at the ridiculousness, and they all started chatting. They sat on the curb outside the mall entrance. Even though he wasn’t going to grab a ride with the other three, Sam decided to wait with them. After a while, it started to seem like maybe Steve wasn’t coming.

‘We’re never gonna get that ride, ‘cause who’s even seen Steve,” Mike finally said. “Where’s Steve? Where’s Steven?”

“He’s coming,” Amanda insisted, fidgeting. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s been like twenty minutes,” Mike pointed out. “We’re just sitting on the fucking ground.”

Before Amanda, or anyone else, could say anything, they heard footsteps. The shuffling steps got closer, and they turned to find a homeless man. He was wearing a tattered, army field jacket, and looked like one of those homeless Vietnam veterans.

“Get away you creeper!” Amanda yelled without hesitation.

Sam leaned over to Hannah, and joked, “Yo Hannah, they’re comin’ to take you away.” Hannah just scowled.

The homeless guy got close enough, and asked in a raspy voice, “Hey, any of you kids spare a smoke.”

“Yeah. I got a cig,” Mike dug into his jean jacket, and pulled out a cigarette, “I’m pretty fucked up right now. You can take it off me. I don’t need it, I just want to get home. Just please take this cig man.”

Mike extended the tobacco stick, and the homeless guy grabbed it, “Thanks man.”

“Wait a minute,” Amanda narrowed her eyes, pointing to his jacket,“What’s that in your pocket sir? It looks like you already have cigarettes. You’re just using it as an excuse to talk to us. Are you trying to pick someone up.”

Mike laughed nervously, “Are you trying to get to one of our buttholes? What’s happening?”

“No, nothing that like kids,” the homeless guy shook his hands. “I just wanted a smoke man.” He pulled out his lighter and lit the cigarette, “Hey, thanks kid.”

“Yeah no problem,” Mike replied. “Enjoy it.”

The homeless guy took a long drag, and as the smoke escaped his lungs, he looked at the group, “What are you kids doing out here?”

Mike laughed, very nervous, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Like I said!” Amanda pointed between Mike and the homeless vet. “He’s trying to start conversation!”

“Don’t make conversation. You got your cigarette, fucking leave,” Mike avoided looked at the homeless guy. “You can talk to everybody else, just don’t fucking look at me.”

“Alright, alright,” The homeless guy raised his hands and took a few steps back, sensing he was unwelcome. “Well, kids be careful.”

“Okay! Okay,” Mike laughed again, hoping the guy would just leave.

“Okay dude,” Sam dismissed. “Yeah, you too man. Good luck out there.”

The homeless guy turned around and started shuffling away. No one said anything until he was well out of sight.

“What was that all about?” Amanda asked, laughing slightly. Mike was still really nervous, laughing.

“When’s your car getting here? I’m fucking freaked out,” he asked Amanda, looking around the empty parking lot.

“I’ll call him,” Amanda took out her pink phone from her purse. Hannah just watched her messing with it.

“Yo, is this a bad neighborhood?” Sam asked, feeling his own nerves rising. “I don’t know. I’m never here this late.”

Hannah pointed to Amanda, who was still messing with her phone, “She’s doing this thing with her phone again. It’s not plugged into anything.”

The others looked at Amanda who scowled. She put her phone back, spotting a phone booth out of the corner of her eye. Without responding, she stood and walked over. She dialed Steve’s number. He didn’t pick up, and all she got was the beeping of a full voicemail. She walked back to the group and sat down.

“Guys, Steve’s not coming,” she explained, frowning. “I think we’re just gonna have to find a way back.”

Hannah shrugged, standing, “Well, I guess we’re walking huh.”

The other three stood up too, and Mike looked at his feet, “Yeah. I got flat feet so it’s gonna hurt, but I’ll deal with it. I’ll live.”

“Great,” Hannah nodded, not really listening. Mike shrugged.

“Just thought I’d let you guys know,” Mike explained, “if you need to carry me at some point.”

“Yeah thank you,” Hannah replied sarcastically. “We appreciate that. Thank you.”

The four started walking. They idly talked as they went, and one by one, they started to peel off. They all got home just fine. Mike went home to find his mom having sex again. He sighed and went to his room. He tried to ignore his mom, and, in an attempt to release some stress, jack off.

“Mom please keep it down,” He tried to call out, to no avail.

Sam jumped onto his bed after turning on some Def Leppard, and suddenly remembered that he had chocolate in his pocket. It was the halloween candy he had stolen from some kids. It had melted all over his back pocket, and was now smeared on his sheets. He groaned, and threw the stuff into the laundry. He snuck into his dad’s bathroom, and scoured the medicine cabinet in hopes of finding some painkillers. He found an almost full bottle, grabbed a handful, and hurried it back to the stash in his room.

Amanda was alone in her parents’ mansion. She was looking at old family pictures, feeling very lonely. She remembered what Sam had said at school the day before when she mentioned her parents during lunch.

“Her parents are on fucking vacation and she’s got this bullshit story about them dying because she’s got the mansion for the weekend. She’s got this whole fucking story, telling everyone at school.”

“They died in a car accident!” Amanda had insisted. Sam had ignored what she said.

“Everyone knows this. I don’t know why you’re lying about this shit.

Hannah pulled on her NASA sweater before she went inside her house. Her mom wouldn’t be happy with her Metallica tank. When she went to her room though, she put on _Power Slave_. She tried to test how many pushups she could do in a row. She got to four.

The next day was Sunday, and Mike had another shift. Sam’s dad barged into his room in the morning and woke him up, demanding he go to the store today. Sam groaned, feeling burned out.

“Dad, do I have to go in today?” Sam asked. “Dad? Daddy, could I have the day--”

“Hey, you think I made all my money by not going to work when I was sick?” His dad cut him off with a lecture. “Look, that’s not how things work in this country. You work hard and maybe one day you’ll be where I’m at.”

“Dad, you said that you got all that money from winning that car crash lawsuit,” Sam pointed out. “From when that lady hit you at that red light.”

Sam’s dad scowled and stumbled over his words slightly, “That helped get started in business, but it was mainly my hard work.”

“Okay, dad,” Sam conceded, sighing. “Fine, fuck.”

“And you gotta learn that shit,” His dad concluded, turning to leave.

“You’re like killing my buzz,” Sam mumbled. His dad heard, and whipped around.

“What are you on drugs?” His dad demanded to know. Sam’s eyes widened in panic, and he shook his head frantically.

“No, I meant like Buzz Lightyear!” His lie was painfully obvious and his dad glared at him. “That’s a cartoon idea that I have. It involves toys and they talk to each other.”

“You’re on drugs aren’t you!” His dad accused, moving farther into the room. “I knew it!”

Sam’s dad stormed around his room, rummaging through everything in search of drugs. Sam could only watch in panic, “Fuck dude!”

His dad found his entire stash, “I’m taking these!”

Sam’s dad stalked out, probably going to throw away his son’s drugs and lock up his own meds. Sam pouted, “I just got painkillers too.”

* * *

 

The end of that work day was almost exactly like the day before. Amanda had spent all day shopping, and was getting tossed out of Marcey’s 4h Avenue. Hannah had gone back to snoop around, but found nothing. Sam was left to close up his dad’s shop, and he had been working on the marijuana plant he was trying to grow in his dad’s shop. Mike was tasked with taking out the popcorn, again. Hannah, Amanda, and Sam all bumped into each other as they were making their way to the exit.

Mike was taking out the popcorn, after once again deciding to keep it, when he heard scrambling and banging. It was coming from the vents. He paused to look at it, and something started to crawl out. It looked like some kind of lizard person. He stared at it with wide eyes. It sniffed at the bag in Mike’s hand, and a few more crawled out behind it.

The first one lunged for the bag of popcorn. Mike wanted to protect his food. Ready to defend his popcorn, Mike pulled out his boxcutter and swung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to try to post another chapter/episode at least once a week. If you want, feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to know what you thought. Thanks for reading.


	3. Vintage Teenage Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Arrives at the party five years late with an update*

“Get away! This is my popcorn!” Mike swung his box cutter, holding the bag of popcorn to his chest, protecting it from the sudden lizard menace. The lizard snarled at him. It was barely four feet tall, wearing only a loincloth with a pouch. Mike swung again, and caught the lizard on the arm. It screamed an inhuman screech, and blood spilled from the wound. Mike paused for a moment, staring at the bleeding creature.

Down the hallway, in the public part of the mall, Amanda, Hannah, and Sam were all walking towards the exit. Hannah and Amanda paused when they heard the scream, and Sam stopped as well. It was coming from behind the door to their left. Amanda walked over and opened the door to investigate. She took a few steps, peeked around the corner, and hurried back out. 

“That’s a little scary,” she muttered to herself. She walked up to Sam, “Could I get a pick me up?”

“My dad took all his painkillers back,” Sam answered, shaking his head. Amanda frowned.

“That doesn’t help me,” she crossed her arms. 

Sam shrugged, explaining, “Well, he locked it in his locker, the painkillers. I just got some bud.”

“That’s it?” Amanda lifted her eyebrows. “That’s all you got?”

“I just got some bud,” Sam affirmed, shuffling through his pack. “That’s it really, so you kinda just wasted your time if you’re looking for painkillers or pick me ups or whatever.”

“Okay,” Amanda sighed, waving the idea away. “I’ll go without them. That’s fine.”

“Yeah, you kinda wasted your time, huh,” Sam repeated, and Amanda scowled at him. As they were talking, Hannah had decided to investigate. She opened the door and peered inside. Amanda followed after, but Sam stayed behind. He hadn’t heard anything besides the buzzing of the lights, so he decided to just keep leaving. Amanda, who noticed him starting to walk away, called him over. He approached the both of them.

Before either of them could say anything, Sam said, “I’ve got this plant. I’m trying to sneak it out the back.”

“You’re not about this?” Hannah asked, gesturing through the door and down the hall. “You’re just kinda, like, on your own?”

“Oh dude, I’m on my own thing right now,” Sam agreed, nodding to the weed plant he was holding. “I’ve got my own operation.”

Amanda furrowed her brow, “So, you’re just gonna leave.”

“I’m just gonna walk out,” Sam shrugged, and started back towards the exit. 

Back down the hallway, the injured lizard-person fell to the floor, writhing in pain. Mike looked down at it, and lifted his foot to stomp on its head. Before he could finish through, the creature started to glow. An amber light surrounded it, and then it was gone. The only thing left was a pool of blood where it had been. 

“That’s not good,” Mike shook his head as more came out of the vent. “ What? There’s more?”

Hannah walked through the door and down the hall. She turned the corner and stopped at the sight before her. Mike Jaundice was fending off what could only be aliens, with a box cutter. He had an arm wrapped around a trash bag, holding it away from the aliens. 

“My popcorn!” Mike yelled again, still swiping at the lizard people. “This is my week’s worth of food!”

Hannah looked at the lizards, examining them. She saw the pouches attached to their loincloths. She could also see the stone knives pinned to their side. The lizard’s themselves had long claws and sharp teeth. They were all wearing collars, which caught Hannah’s attention. They looked like brass, and she could see an amber gem affixed in the middle of the collar. She thought they were probably important.

All of them surrounded Mike. They pulled out their stone knives and started jabbing at him. He was able to evade two of them, but one landed a hit. The edge of the sharp knife sliced through his jacket and into his arm. It wasn’t very deep, but some blood still soaked into his sleeve. He cursed in pain but kept swiping at them. He lunged at the closest one, but missed. 

Amanda started down the hall after Hannah. She could see Hannah at the end of the hall, who looked like she was about to start running. She stopped, and called out. “Hannah! Hannah, go check that out.”

Hannah, who was already running down the hall, ignored Amanda. Instead she yelled to Mike, “The collars! Break the collars!” 

Hannah stopped a few feet away so they wouldn’t attack her, and to assess the situation. She searched for something she could do to help.  

Out in the main hall, Sam was just opening the door to outside. He could hear Hannah yelling and turned to look back into the mall. He thought outloud to himself, “Oh shit, that little asian chick, maybe she’s getting deported. I gotta go check this out.”

Sam, who was a paranoid about getting caught with his weed plant, took a moment to set it outside. He hid it behind a potted plant and went back inside. He reached the door just as the aliens were closing in on Mike. Hannah could see the aliens reaching for the popcorn bag, and a realization hit her.

“Just let go of the bag dude!” She suggested. 

Mike looked at her for a moment, and yelled back, “No! I need it!” 

Hannah rolled her eyes. She watched Mike still swinging, and another alien cut him. He hissed in pain, holding his arm against his chest instinctively. He decided it wasn’t worth it, and finally dropped the bag of popcorn. He turned and ran down the hall, towards Hannah and the others. As he passed her, Mike bumped into Hannah, causing her to stumble and fall over. He stopped only a few feet from Hannah. Amanda reached them as this was happening and looked around the corner at the aliens. She scowled, crossed her arms, and walked a few feet closer. 

“Lizards! You like totally need to get out of here right now!” Amanda yelled at them. They turned to her, and some panic set in. She couldn’t find anything else to say, so she just screamed at them.

The aliens startled, covering where their ear would be. The cowered away from Amanda, refusing to look at her. One grabbed the popcorn and darted back into the vent. The others backed up, making panicked screeches as they did. They had never seen such a high-pitched creature before. Hannah, who could see them trying to run away, scrambled across the floor. She reached for one, trying to grab it by the collar. It scurried away from her with a hiss. 

Sam squeezed through the suddenly jammed door into the hall, and turned the nearest corner. He could see Amanda yelling at something, and approached. 

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” He asked, nonchalant. Amanda and Mike both looked at him.

“You hear me shriek and you’re just like what’s going on?” Amanda questioned, glaring at him slightly. Sam shrugged.

“Yeah you’re shrieking in my ear. I’m just like, yo stop shrieking my ear woman! This is crazy! You guys need to chill the fuck out,” He leaned past them to look down the hall, and just barely spotted Hannah scrambling to catch a lizard-person. His looked back at Amanda and Mike, bewildered. “Hey! There’s something goin’ on over there guys!”

Hannah heard what Sam said, and rolled her eyes. She took a moment to shout back, “Are you talking about the things that I’m  _ grabbing _ ?”

Amanda scoffed, “We’ve all been in this situation.”

Sam ignored them, and continued, “What’s happening?” He paused, and took a moment to note, “The thing is, I’m also fast too. So I got here pretty fast. Just so you guys know.”

“Oh good,” Hannah called back, still chasing after one of the aliens.

“You’re still way behind,” Mike pointed out. “So, really, really nice.”

Sam scowled at him, “Yeah, well fuck you. How about that?”

“I almost fucking died dude!” Mike defended.

Sam shook his head and scoffed, “You almost  died trying to fucking protect popcorn.”

“It’s more than popcorn,” Mike insisted. “It’s my life. It’s my meal.”

“You have a job dude. Just buy some,” Sam reminded. 

Mike shook his head, “Yeah, I get paid jack shit.”

As they were arguing, there was a banging in the walls as the alien with the popcorn scampered down the vent. The few remaining aliens’ shock wore off. They were angry, and turned to Hannah, who was small and unitimidating on the floor. She wasn’t able to crawl away fast enough as they lunged at her with stone knives. They all cut her up, and one hit her on the head with its knife. She fell unconscious, her glasses falling onto the floor. The others watched with wide eyes.

“They knocked her out!” Amanda pointed at the other girl and looked at the boys.

Sam looked down the hall, and yelled out to Hannah, “They knocked you the fuck out! You got messed up. That’s savage.” 

“The only smart person is now knocked out or dead,” Mike sighed, frustrated. 

Seeing that Hannah had stopped moving, the aliens hesitated. They weren’t sure if they should press the attack. Mike looked at one, and thought that he could get the collar if he could just cut its head off. He realized quickly, with some disappointment, that with only his box cutter, that would take too long. He decided to just attack like normal. He ran at the nearest one, and swung. He missed and stumbled back some.

Sam watched with raised eyebrows, “You ran back in?”

“Yeah I did,” Mike called back. “I’m brave.”

Amanda bumped Sam’s shoulder to get his attention, and asked, “Do you have any of that pick me up now?”

Sam narrowed his eyes a bit, apprehensive, “You’re gonna have to explain to me how this is playin’ out.”

“I have a plan!” Amanda pressed, “Are you gonna supply or not.”

“What’s your plan?” Sam questioned. He gestured down the hall. “Our friend’s getting beat up by lizard people!”

Amanda huffed, tapping her foot impatiently, “Do you trust me to save her or not?”

“We gotta do something right now!” Sam urged. “I mean, they’re dying. I’m pretty sure they are dying.”

“I just screamed at them,” Amanda recalled. Sam went to run a hand through his hair but paused.

He took a moment to ask, “How’s my hair look by the way?”

Amanda scowled at him and turned to try something on her own. She slowly approached the aliens, reaching into her purse. She edged toward one.

“Hey little fella,” She began cautiously, pulling out some candy from her purse. “I know I yelled at you a little bit ago, but you know, I have, like, little candies in my purse.”

The alien looked at her hand and sniffed. The other two noticed, and they all inched forward. The two others crawled over Hannah to get closer. They all forgot about Hannah, distracted by the candy. Sam took the opportunity to run up next to Amanda. He picked up his boombox, which could only play static, and cocked it back. He aimed for one that had started backing up towards the vent. Amanda looked at him with an angry look and he paused.

“I’m not gonna hit you in the head,” Sam reassured, assuming Amanda was worried about that.

“I’m next to you, I’m not worried about that,” Amanda shook her head. “Those two are over there. What if you scare them off?”

Sam shrugged, “Yeah I might hit Mike in the head or something, if I miss.”

“What if you scare them off?” Amanda repeated, looking at the aliens who were starting to back away. “And why are you aiming at the one going in the vent?”

“What are you doing?” Sam criticized. “You’re fucking offering candy and shit!”

“And they’re coming closer!” Amanda justified. Sam ignored her and threw the boombox.

It curved through the air toward the alien. There was a moment where time time seemed to slow as it reached the peak of its curve. The boombox hit it square in the face. Something in the boombox jostled at the impact, and it turned back on, blaring music. The sound scared the aliens and sent them running into the vent. Sam smirked, self satisfied. He walked over to pick up his boombox, turning it off.

Amanda turned to Sam slowly, glowering, and snapped, “God damn you fucking idiot! I was trying to lure one out and now they’re gone.”

“They’re sitting there beating the fuck out of Hannah, and you’re like, you want some?” Sam argued, mocking Amanda. Amanda scowled and Mike approached them.

“That doesn’t matter!” Mike insisted, taking Amanda’s side. “We gotta figure out the collar, dude.”

“Yeah, she’s knocked out,” Amanda agreed. “You can’t do anything about that.”

“Hannah came to save you, and you took off!” Sam accused Mike. 

“Hannah would’ve wanted that,” Mike rebutted, surprisingly calm about it.

“You could have been fighting the whole time and she wouldn’t be beat the fuck up!” Sam said, angry.

“I was dying!” Mike defended himself. “I was dying.”

“You came back in anyway. It doesn’t matter if you were dying, you came back in,” Sam pointed out before switching topics to his throw. “How ‘bout you’re welcome? That would be--”

“No!” Amanda interrupted, crossing her arms. “You made me waste Reese’s Pieces in my purse.”

Sam glared, “Amanda, you’re a bitch, alright.”

“What the fuck!” Amanda leaned away in offense, throwing her hands up in the air. An annoyed puff of air pushed out of her lungs.

“I’ll still sell you some drugs though,” Sam commented. “I’m cool--”

“I asked for drugs two times--” Amanda emphasized, holding up two fingers, “and you didn’t give me shit.” 

Before Sam could retort, a loud bang sounded through the hall. It was the air vent slamming shut. Next thing they heard were footsteps in the walls as the lizards retreated behind the wall. They looked at the vent, and suddenly Amanda pointed to it.

“We need to get in there,” she asserted. “Now.”

“Excuse me?” Sam asked, taking off his sunglasses in disbelief. 

“We need to get in there!” Amanda repeated. She narrowed her eyes and pointed to Sam, “You fucked up! Someone needs to get in there.”

Sam shook her head at her in disbelief, and demanded, “For what?”

“To uncover the goddamn mystery!” Amanda snapped, borderline furious. 

Sam pointed to the vent and retaliated, “How about you get the fuck in there and uncover the mystery!”

Amanda nodded as if it wasn’t a big deal, “I’ll get in there!”

“I gotta fix my boombox,” Sam evaded, tinkering with some dials on the boombox. He looked down the hall and spotted Hannah, still laying on the ground. “Hannah?”

“She’s knocked out dude,” Amanda laughed at Sam. Sam ignored her and turned to Mike.

“What’d you do Mike?” He accused, pointing at the other boy. 

“What did I do?” Mike put a hand on his chest in disbelief. “What do you mean?”

Sam pointed down at Hannah, and interrogated, “Why is Hannah dead?”

“I had to save my popcorn!” Mike defended himself, yet again. Sam rolled his eyes in response.

He pointed back to Mike with his thumb, and mumbled under his breath, “This guy right here.”

As they were bickering, Hannah started to come to. She woke with a groan, holding her head. It throbbed as she groggily pushed herself up. She groaned again and looked around blearily. She slowly looked around, trying to remember where she was. It came back to her in a rush and she got up on her knees, trying to stand. The others hadn’t noticed her yet, still bickering, and she tried to move toward them. She was still really out of it from her head injury.

“They hit me with their tiny swords,” Hannah spoke with another groan, alerting the others. She stumbled onto her feet, still holding her head. She took a few unsteady steps forward, and said, with slightly slurred speech, “They got away.”

In agreement, Mike huffed, “We accomplished nothing.”

Hannah stumbled up to her friends, still dazed, and declared, “We gotta follow them guys. What is this?”

“We do! I said I have to get in there,” Amanda concurred, glad that someone agreed with her. She gestured back to Sam, criticizing, “He’s fucking with his boombox.”

Sam grumbled to himself, and then offered, “Guys, my dad owns a sports store.”

Hannah pointed to him and urged, “So, we should go arm ourselves.”

Sam looked at Hannah and shook his head. “You need to go to the hospital.”

“You need to shut up!” Hannah slurred, reaching up to hold her head again, wincing. “Need to get a weapon. Let’s get weapon.”

Mike looked at Hannah with some worry, and offered, “Do you want a water bottle?”

Hannah looked at him, and blinked a few times before nodding. “Yeah, you gotta--?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you my water bottle,” Mike reached into his jacket and pulled out a plastic bottle. He offered it to Hannah, who grabbed it. She opened it with a rush, and gulped down the water. 

Amanda watched her and the water drain out of the bottle. When Hannah finished, she looked at the bottle with raised eyebrows, “Oh, you drank it already?”

Mike looked at the empty bottle and admitted, “I thought you were gonna save it.”

“I’m thirsty!” Hannah argued. “I got hit in the head by cavemen!” 

“This is, like, the only water bottle I ever had,” Mike revealed. He was a little disappointed that it was gone.

“Why don’t you eat your fucking trash soda popcorn,” Hannah snapped sharply. She held back another groan as her head pounded.

“I don’t have it anymore!” Mike pointed out, aggravated. “They took everything dude.”

“Yeah, well go get it!” Hannah waved in the general direction of the air vent. “Get off my case! I’m the only one trying to solve things for science.”

“Guys, there’s something happening at this mall okay,” Sam intervened, focusing back on the problem. He continued in denial, “And I’m not seeing shit ‘cause I’m burnt out right now.”

Amanda laughed and reminded him, “You just threw something at it!”

“Yeah he did see it!” Mike realized, laughing with Amanda. 

Hannah winced, still a bit disoriented, and looked at Sam’s boombox. She pointed to it and mumbled, “Is your boombox okay?”

Amanda pointed an accusing finger at Sam, her amusement turning to frustration, and reiterated, “You totally saw it!”

Sam brushed it off, “I have sunglasses on, so it’s hard to tell whether that was some type of extraterrestrial or an alien.”

“It was definitely something out of this world,” Hannah agreed, starting to come back to her senses. 

Mike thought about Sam’s remark, and pointed out the redundancy with a laugh, “Is it an alien or alien?”

Sam sneered a bit, and explained, “What I meant was an illegal alien.”

“No, you’re talking about her and she’s knocked out on the ground,” Amanda pointed towards where Hannah had been laying.

“I’m awake!” Hannah exclaimed, growing annoyed. She pointed at Sam next, speaking with determination, “Pick your boombox up. Let’s go get some weapons, and we’ll follow them into this wall.”

“Let’s get a translator for this girl,” Sam taunted. 

“Let’s go get some stuff from your dad’s store, and then let’s go in that vent and solve this mystery,” Hannah ignored Sam’s comment. She took a moment to glare back at the vent. “They fucked me up.”

Something occurred to Amanda, and she mentioned, “Didn’t he just lock up the store though? He’s gotta reopen it.”

“I’ve got a key to my dad’s shop,” Sam revealed. He pulled it out of his pocket and showed off the yellow-gold key. 

“Do you wanna reopen it?” Amanda asked. “Can you please reopen it for us?”

“They fucked me up man!” Hannah repeated, eager to get revenge. Without waiting for a response she also requested, “Can you reopen your dad’s shop?”

Sam pursed his lips in thought. The others rolled their eyes as their annoyance grew. He thought for a long moment before repeating the others, “Guys, we gotta do something about this. There’s some shit going on here. I don’t know what happened to this mall, but it’s crazy.”

Amanda held back an annoyed sigh and asked, again, “Can you open your dad’s shop?”

Sam paused, “You guys wanna buy some weed?”

“No! Go get your plant, get your keys, and let’s go!” Hannah snapped, urging them along. “Or else we’re gonna die when we crawl in this vent.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at Hannah, suddenly very suspicious, and questioned, “What plant? How do you guys know I’ve got plants?”

Hannah, surprised, simply said, “I saw it in your hand.” 

Amanda nodded, and waved towards the main doors, “He stashed it.”

Mike pointed in the general direction that Amanda had, and agreed, “Yeah, it’s over there.”

Sam just kept looking at them with narrowed eyes. Hannah was exasperated, and huffed out, “Go get it! Where ever you put it. Let’s go!!”

“Alright! We’ll go back. You guys need to calm down for a second,” Sam held his hands up in defense. He went to fix his hair, and grumbled, “Giving me anxiety and shit. Fuck.”

He took a moment to jog back out of the mall. He grabbed his plant, and very carefully, gently placed it in his fanny pack. He took a moment to gingerly zip it closed, and then hurried back to the others. They were waiting expectantly. 

“We’ll go back to my dad’s shop. I’ll open it up,,” Sam pointed towards the direction of the store, and they started walking. “We’ll get some bats, some batons. I’ve got some tennis rackets.”

“Bats, whatever you got,” Hannah nodded, walking a few feet ahead with determination. She slowed down in thought, and asked, “Bow and arrow? What’s in there?”

“What’s in my dad’s shop?” Sam looked up as he tried to remember everything. He shrugged, and answered, “I mean, he’s got baseball bats. We’ve got, like, tennis rackets.”

As Hannah nodded, considering the options, Mike inquired, “Armor?”

Hannah laughed, and repeated with amusement, “Armor!”

Sam looked at Mike with a deadpan look, and retorted, “We don’t have fucking armor.”

Hannah paused, and thought of an alternative. She looked at Sam, “Hockey gear?”

Sam cocked his head, nodding slightly as he recalled their inventory, “There’s, uh, baseball catcher-- football padded stuff.”

As they approached the shop, Sam stepped ahead to unlock it. He bent and fiddled with the key until the lock fell to the ground. He scooped it up and shoved into his pocket. He pushed up on the security gate and it rattled up. He stepped into the shop and flicked on a light. The others followed after him, looking around the shop. Sam went behind the counter to look through some stuff.

“Are we allowed to take whatever?” Amanda asked, strolling through the aisles and fidgeting with the displays. 

Sam, who had knelt under the counter, poked his head up and scowled at Amanda. His voice became hostile, “No, fuck you Amanda.” He turned to Mike and Hannah, who were looking as the baseball bats, and explained, “Amanda, she robs places. She’s got, like, that ‘stef’ thing. That she goes into places and steals lipstick and shit.”

He walked out from behind the counter, and pointed at Mike, “Was it narcolepsy? What’s the word I’m looking for Michael?”

Mike looked at him, a little confused, “For what?”

“For somebody that steals stuff? They’re narcissistic?” 

“Thats-” Mike paused, and shook his head, still confused. “What are you saying?”

Sam had stopped listening, thinking out loud, “Epilepsy?”

Mike was starting to get annoyed with Sam. “That’s a seizure! What are you--”

Hannah, who had been watching with amusement, butt in with the answer, “He’s talking about kleptomania.” 

“Kleptomania!” Sam’s face lit up as he remembered, and he excitedly pointed at Hannah with a snap. “There we go. That’s what Amanda’s got going on.”

Amanda only watched the whole conversation with a scowl. She crossed her arms and stayed on the other side of the store. Hannah was shaking her head, and muttered, “Jesus christ.”

Sam patted Hannah on the shoulder. She shrugged off his hand, and he continued without taking any notice. “See Hannah, that’s why you’re the smart one, okay?”

“Thank you. I got hit in the head and I still know what you’re talking about,” Hannah laughed lightly. She ran a hand over the baseball bats, and returned to the task at hand. “So, what can we take? Do we each get as much as we can carry?”

Sam shooed Hannah’s hand away from the bats, and maintained, “Relax, okay. I’ve gotta count inventory for all this shit.”

“Assign us weapon then,” Hannah compromised. “This is your dad’s store, just give us stuff.”

“Can’t you just cover it,” Mike suggested. Sam shook his head. 

“Okay, everyone, calm down for a second okay,” Sam put his hands up to silence them. He closed his eyes in thought.

Amanda had calmed down, and slowly started to cross the store to the others. As she stepped up next to them, she asked, “Can I have a thing of mace? I could probably use it later.”

“A thing of mace--” Sam looked over at Amanda before interrupting himself to patronize. “Okay, Amanda, you can have this mace.” 

He walked over to the counter, where the checkout display had a few cans of mace, for whatever reason. He snatched one off of the display and tossed it over to Amanda. The girl caught it easily and tucked it into her back pocket. Sam stopped next to Mike and put a hand on his shoulder. He took a moment to think before pointing to the football section.

“Uh, what’s your name- Michael, you can take some of that football armor over there,” Sam granted permission. 

“Did you say Michael?” Mike asked as he realized what Sam had said.

The other boy shrugged, “I don’t fucking know, Jaundice.” 

Mike rolled his eyes as they all laughed before starting to looking through the football gear. It took him a minute to find the right sizes. 

Amanda shook her head at the entire situation, and declared with amusement, “It’s going off the rails.”

“Okay, Hannah, do you want a baseball bat or some shit?” Sam returned his focus to handing out weapons. He took one of the baseball bats off the rack, and held it out to the girl, who grinned.

“Yeah I want a baseball bat,” she grabbed it, and held it up to look at it. As she pulled off the tag, something occurred to her. She looked up at Sam, and requested, “Can I have some armor for my head?”

“You want a helmet?” Sam clarified. When Hannah nodded, he grabbed a helmet off the shelf above their heads. “Okay, take a batting helmet.”

Mike had wriggled into the football gear, and walked back over. He looked at the bats, and asked, “Do you have any nails? Like, we could put a bat and some nails together.”

“We gotta go to my dad’s warehouse store if you want fucking nails,” Sam told Mike, sweeping his arm at their surroundings. “We’re in a sports store; a failing sports store.”

Amanda leaned between the two boys, and interrupted, “I don’t want a baseball bat like everybody else. I want baseballs, five baseballs.”

Sam gave her a weird look, but relented, “Okay, fine, take fucking five baseballs and mace.” 

He snagged a plastic tube of baseballs off the shelf and handed it off to Amanda. She looked at the baseballs with a self-satisfied smile. Sam looked at the tube of baseballs, and furrowed his brow.

“Where are you gonna put all the baseballs? In your purse?” Sam asked. Amanda shrugged.

“In my purse,” She confirmed, slipping the whole tub into her purse.

“How big is your purse?” Sam looked at Amanda’s white bag. “A big ass purse; that’s not a purse, that’s a fucking bookbag.” 

“You called me a kleptomaniac,” Amanda defended, holding her bag closer to her. “I’ve got to fit shit in there.”

Sam started walking back to the counter, but paused and looked back at Amanda. He pointed an accusatory finger and ordered “In fact, you should put back the fucking bottle opener you just took. I watched you take that shit earlier. When you came in I saw you take it.”

Amanda blinked, at a loss for words. Sam just continued to the counter, and slipped out of sight. He had went into his dad’s back office. He knelt beneath the desk, and tinkered with a safe. He grinned in success when it popped open. He reached inside, and grabbed what he was looking for. It was his dad’s .38 revolver. It only had two bullets left, but it was useful nonetheless. He kicked the safe closed as he stood. He tucked the gun into his back pocket as he walked out, closing the door behind him. 

“I need something,” Mike was looking around him as Sam approached. 

Hannah looked at Mike, examining what he had. “What did he give you?”

“Football gear,” Mike gestured to the gear, and held up empty hands. He turned to Sam when the other boy stopped next to him. “What am I supposed to, like, run into them? Give me something to swing dude. I need a hockey stick.”

“No, not the hockey stick,” Sam shook his head, waving the idea away. “The hockey sticks are actually expensive. They’re like two hundred dollars a pop. You can take one of the tennis rackets though.”

Mike followed Sam’s finger to the tennis rackets. He groaned at the look of them. They were almost all string, and the little bit of metal they did have looked flimsy. He walked over and jerked one of the rack.

“Ugh, whatever,” he looked at the racket and tapped against his hand. He shrugged, “Okay, a tennis racket.”

On the way out, Sam paused and looked around. He figured he should take something besides the gun with two bullets. He paused as he passed a shelf, and grabbed a box of darts off of it. He opened the box and pulled a handful out. He shoved the six darts into his pocket, and exited the store. The others had been watching him as they waited.

“That’s it?” Hannah asked with raised eyebrows. Sam shrugged, and pulled the security gate down. He secured the lock and turned back to the others.

“Dude, I’ve got weed and shit in my other bag. I can’t be walking around with all this gear,” Sam defended. He looked at all the stuff that everyone had taken, and sighed. “Fuck man, I’ve got a gun in my back pocket. If I get caught, if my  _ dad _ sees any of this; shit, I’m going to jail.”

“So, we gotta bring this stuff back?” Hannah asked, a bit cautious. Sam looked at her with an incredulous look.

“Yes! We gotta bring this stuff back!” He exclaimed.

Mike shrugged, “We can try. I mean, it’s not top priority.”

Sam looked at him, his eyes wide with annoyance. “No! You’re bringing this stuff back!”

Mike scoffed, “We just saw a bunch of fucking cavemen creatures!”

“Shut the fuck up Mike!” Sam snapped, his frustration growing. “Capitalism still exists, regardless of aliens or not.”

“What happens is what happens,” Mike insisted, patting Sam on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

Before Sam could respond, Amanda got Mike’s attention, asking, “Is there a way I can convince you to give me your tennis racket?”

“You want my tennis racket, the only thing I have to defend myself with? And it’s not even that good,” Mike asked, incredulous. He was holding the tennis racket up, as if it was a piece of evidence.

Amanda nodded, casual, “Yes. I want it.”

Mike was unconvinced, shaking his head. “I’m not gonna give it to you.”

“I want it,” Amanda demanded, crossing her arms. She frowned at Mike. 

“Well, I’m not giving it to you,” Mike repeated. He held the racket closer to himself. “You’re gonna have to fight for it.”

Amanda huffed, took a step forward, and smiled. She tried to persuade him, “Hey, I could really use that.”

Mike scowled, and without hesitation, slapped Amanda across the face. Her head turned at the impact, her hair whipping over her face. Amanda stumbled back a few steps, holding her face. She brushed some of the hair out of her face. She thought about saying something, but didn’t. She figured she deserved it; she shouldn’t have pushed him like that. Hannah and Sam had been watching, and both of them turned to Mike in shock.

“Holy shit Mike!” Sam shouted, holding his head with his fingers. “Calm down dude!”

“What the fuck!” Hannah yelled in disbelief. “You can’t just hit a girl!”

“You don’t just slap girls dude!” Sam scolded. Mike only shrugged, and Sam went up to Amanda. She was still fixing her hair. “Are you okay Amanda?”

She nodded, and turned to Sam. “Can I have a different tennis racket?

The worry fell of Sam’s face, and was replaced by thinly veiled annoyance. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Hannah’s shock had worn off, and she looked at Mike. She narrowed her eyes at him as her gaze darkened. “I don’t like bullies, Mike.”

“It’s fine. It was well deserved.” Mike waved it off. Hannah scowled but didn’t press.

Amanda frowned slightly. She decided to try Sam instead. “Can I convince you?”

“I already locked up the shop,” Sam pointed to the dark store. “What do you want me to do? Reopen the shop and give you a tennis racket?” 

“I only have mace and five footballs!” Amanda shook her purse at Sam. “I just want something.”

“Yeah, we were in there, and we were talking about this,” Sam recalled. They had all been surprised by Amanda’s choice, but she had insisted.

“I was drifting off,” Amanda defended. “Just, like, looking away.”

Sam gave her an exasperated look, but before he could say anything, the hallway went dark. The mall lights had been shut off. Somewhere, the mall manager must have been closing everything off. They were in darkness for only a second, and then the emergency lights started clicking on. The halls were dim, and they all looked around.

“We have to leave,” Amanda warned, her shoulders bunched with tension. 

“We gotta a flashlight?” Hannah asked everyone. They all held up empty hands and Hannah kicked herself. “We should’ve gotten a flashlight. What were we thinking?”

Sam felt his paranoia rising as they stood in the dark mall. He gulped, and suggested, “Maybe it would be a good idea to reconvene next weekend.”

There was a silent consensus as they started walking towards the exit. Their eyes were darting over every detail as their anxiety rose. They walked in silence until they were out of the mall. They all sagged in relief. 

Mike thought about the coming week. “We’re gonna be fucking paranoid and freaked out all week.”

“That’s so long! Let’s come back tomorrow after school,” Hannah proposed. As her anxiety wore off, she was eager to get back to the mystery. “After school, we meet in the mall.”

“I have a nail appointment after school,” Amanda revealed, taking a moment to look down at her nails. She shrugged and continued, “After that, I’m down though.”

“Alright,” Hannah grinned, and started a plan. “We meet ten minutes before the mall closes, behind the dumpsters, and we’re gonna solve this,”

Amanda cringed at the thought of the dumpsters and shook her head. “No, just meet at my nail place, and then we can walk over.”

“I’m gonna be working anyway,” Mike agreed. “So, I’ll be there. It’s whatever.”

Sam looked at all their gear. His only contribution to the plan was, “Guys, just make sure to bring all this shit back.”

“Okay, 8:50 p.m. tomorrow night. Bring the gear,” Hannah confirmed the plan. She quickly added, pointing to Sam, “Don’t tell his dad.”

Everyone nodded, and they all split off in different directions. Before he got too far, Sam turned back. He pointed to Amanda, hurrying over to stop her.

“Did you steal anything else?” Sam interrogated. Amanda only raised her eyebrows at him. Sam’s eyes narrowed as he caught a glimpse of something metal in her pocket. “Give me back the fucking keychain.”

Amanda looked at him with a confused look, but reached into her pocket nonetheless. Sam watched, expecting it to be from his dad’s shop. He stuck his hand out impatiently. Amanda held up the keychain.

“Which one? My keychain?” Amanda question, jingling the keychain for emphasis. “That has a picture of my Steven on it? You really want that?”

Sam paused, realizing his error. Embarrassment washed over him, and his smile turned awkward. He wasn’t willing to admit it though, “Yeah.”

Amanda laughed at him, slipping the keychain back in her pocket. “That’s fucked up.”

Sam paused, trying to find something to say, but when he couldn’t think of anything, he just turned and walked away. Amanda laughed again as she turned and started heading home too. They all reached their respective homes safely. The next day went by quickly. They were all so preoccupied with the situation at the mall. In what felt like no time, they were meeting up at the mall again. Mike had taken out the trash again, and were able to sneak them all in. They all had their sports gear; Mike had never taken his off. They entered the mall not too far from the scooter display. They headed in that direction. The main lights were off, making the mall dimly lit. All the security gates on the stores were down. As they neared a corner, there was a loud banging noise. It sounded like someone, or something, was pulling on a security gate. It was just around the corner, and they all paused. 

“Oh shit guys,” Sam whispered loudly. “Did you hear that banging sound from around the corner?”

“No,” Amanda had been busy examining her nails. She held them out to everyone. “What do you think of my nails? I just had them done.”

“Amanda shut the fuck up,” Sam fired back immediately. “We’ve seen aliens and shit last night, and you’re talking about your nails. What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Amanda scowled, reaching into her bag. She pulled out the tube of baseballs she had gotten the night before. “I packed the baseballs you gave me.”

Their talking had grown too loud, and had attracted whatever was making the banging noise. The lizard aliens that they had encountered before rounded the corner, hissing at them. 

The teens turned to them in alarm. Sam pointed to them, “Oh shit! They’re speaking Hannah’s language.”

Hannah was going to snap something back at Sam, but paused. She listened to the hissing more closely, “Wait, are they talking? Are they actually saying something?”

“Translate for us!” Sam mocked, but Hannah ignored him. She was concentrating on their hissing. It was mostly just hissing and squeaks, but they were definitely communicating. Hannah tried to figure out if she might be able to understand them. She got the feeling that they were warning each other.

The lizard aliens started grabbing their weapons from their pouches. They looked ready to fight. Hannah’s eyes darkened as she remembered what they did to her. With her anger growing, she ran at them. She raised her baseball bat to swing, and hit the first one she came to. 

“Why are you trying to kill them!” Amanda shouted, her voice shrill. “We need to capture them!”

“We can pull their collars off their corpses!” Hannah yelled back, too angry to care. 

Mike had started approaching, and now one of the aliens tried to run at him. The thing stumbled though, and Mike grabbed it by the collar. He started pulling at the gem. Sam, trying to think of something to do, pulled out the gun.

He pointed it at the lizard aliens, and tried to be as intimidating as possible. “Ay, yo bitch! Imma fuck you up if you don’t get out of here! Scram!”

“No!” Mike snapped at him, trying to get him to stop. 

Amanda turned to glare at Sam, “Why are you telling them to go away again?”

“I’m about to pop a cap in your ass!” Sam tried to be as imposing as possible, but it didn’t affect the aliens are all. They ignored him in favor of fighting the others.

The two lizards farthest from the group started to sling rocks at Hannah and Mike. They missed Mike, but nailed Hannah. The lizard that Mike had grabbed was struggling to escape his grip, and tried to bite the boy. It couldn’t reach his hand, and just ended up biting at the air. Another lizard starting flanking Mike. It grasped a knife in its hand, ready to shank Mike. It lunged, but just barely missed. Amanda, who was witnessing the whole thing, reached for a baseball. She cocked her arm back, and threw the ball at the alien trying to attack Mike. She hit the side of its head, and it fell to the ground with a resounding crack. The amber light swallowed it as the gem flashed, and it was gone.

“I saved your life Jaundice!” Amanda told Mike. 

“Thank you!” Mike called back. 

Amanda looked at where the alien she had killed had fallen. There was no sign it had ever been there. “We can’t get the collar!” 

“You gotta do it when they’re alive!” Mike explained. Hannah turned to them for a moment.

“We just need to hold off the other ones while you keep that one,” She pointed at the alien that was still squirming in Mike’s hands. Hannah, without waiting for a response, rushed one of the other lizards. It was the one that attacked her. She swung with her bat, but missed it. 

Mike pulled out his box cutter to try and pry the gem out. He could barely get any leverage, and the gem didn’t budge. Sam was still pointing the gun out, and Amanda noticed. An idea came to her.

“Shoot the gem!” Amanda urged. Sam turned the gun to the alien, aiming at the collar. He hesitated for a moment, but pulled the trigger. The gun fired with a booming crack. The bullet didn’t hit the collar, and instead buried itself in the lizard’s neck. As blood started to pour out of it, the gem began flashing. Mike, panicked, dropped it to the ground. It disappeared before it could touch the cold tile.

The two remaining aliens ran at Hannah, who was closest, with their knives. One of them swung too early, and ended up stumbling past her. The second caught Hannah in the side, causing the girl to scream. Amanda tried to sneak behind the aliens. She dashed behind a nearby bench, but everyone could hear the clanking of her high heels, giving her away. Hannah retreated down the hall, towards Sam. He was still holding the gun, and when Hannah reached him, she jerked his aim to the aliens.

“Shoot them!” She demanded, shaking his wrist. “Shoot the fucking things!”

Mike, who was wielding his tennis racket, thought of a plan. If he could hit one of them over the head, the racket would act as a trap. He ran at the nearest one, but swung right past it. Back down the hall, Sam ripped his hand away from Hannah.

“Hannah, shut the fuck up,” He glared. “I’m not shooting anymore.”

Hannah huffed, her side burning with pain. “Shoot them!”

Sam tucked the gun away, and instead started to fiddle with his boombox. “Guys, I tuned into this radio station and they were talking about aliens on it. I think that orange gem teleports them to a different planet.”

Amanda didn’t believe him, “So you fucking deciphered the code via the fucking, like, radio.”

“You saw that happening so that’s what you’re assuming. You don’t have to create a radio program you thought you listened to. We all saw it happen, what are you talking about?,” Hannah called his bluff, trying to reach for the gun again. “Shoot them!”

Sam ignored the two of them. He set his boombox on the ground just as it started playing music. He cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled, “Hey aliens! Check out these moves, huh! On our planet, we call this one the worm!”

Sam dropped to the ground, trying to do the worm, but hit his head on the way down. Despite that, the aliens were still befuddled. They didn’t know what to do, so they just started trying to stab Mike. One of them landed a hit, making Mike yelp in pain.

“Can I have the gun?” Amanda called out to Sam. The boy ignored her, as he was still trying to dance. When she didn’t get a response, Amanda pulled out a new baseball. She popped up from behind the bench to throw it. This time she missed, and it whiffed right past the lizard.

Hannah, who was still trying to get Sam to shoot, gave up. Instead, she let her anger fuel her, and ran back towards the aliens with her baseball bat. She focused all of her power in the swing, but missed. The momentum sent her stumbling forward.

“I missed!” Hannah announced, bitter and sarcastic. “Guys, good news, we’re dead!” 

Mike attacked the one that Hannah had missed with his boxcutter. He knocked it out, and it fell to the ground. After a moment, it was surrounded by the amber light, and then it was gone. Sam, who had stopped dancing, looked at the situation before him. There was only one alien left. He took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and sprinted towards it. As he ran, he tried to run on the wall, but ended up just hitting it with one foot. He took the opportunity to push himself off the wall and into a jump. He remembered a movie he had just seen,  _ Karate Kid _ , and hit the collar with the side of his hand. There was a loud crack, which was multiple bones in his hand breaking, and the collar popped open and clanged onto the ground.

“Guys!” Sam exclaimed, pointing at the brass collar, contrasting against the white tiles. “The collar popped open and hit the ground!” 

“We can see!” Hannah yelled, fed up. “Stop telling us things we can see!” 

Sam didn’t say anything in response. As the adrenaline started to wear off, the pain hit him like a truck. He groaned, cradling his broken hand to his chest. The lizard also seemed to just realize that its collar had fallen off. It started freaking out, finally shaking out of Mike’s grip. He scampered off.

Mike looked down in disgust, “I think it shit itself.”

Hannah walked over and bent to pick up the collar. She held it up by one of the straps. Everyone stared at it. The gem wasn’t glowing anymore. There was a beat of complete silence.

“Look guys, we got one,” Hannah grinned. As they all took a closer look, they could just barely spot some circuitry behind the gem.

“They’re robots!” Mike exclaimed. “Old cavemen robots!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a literal month to update this. Also, I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about it.


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